Tag: Writing

In writing our teacher gave us a task for writing we had to write another story about a lamb. Here is a photo of the lamb we had to write about.

Here is my story. And what my buddy said.

 for Christmas I got a  lamb and called it Jimmy. He was a really naughty lamb and liked to make a mess in his kennel, he also liked to get mud all over the place. When Jimmy was about to go to sleep he decided to jump out of the kennel and play around. When I went outside I saw him rolling around in the pigs mud.

I went back inside and told mum what Jimmy was doing and asked if she wanted her to clean Jimmy but she said no I will take care of Jimmy. Mum went outside and gave him a wash and the next day she asked dad to make a bigger fence so Jimmy doesn’t jump the fence.

Dad made the fence and we put Jimmy in his kennel that night. Jimmy kept trying to jump out of his kennel but couldn’t make the jump to get out of his kennel. So we all had a good sleep without hearing Jimmy jumping around the place. 

In writing our task was to make a writing by looking at the picture that we got given from the teacher and write a story about it. Here is the picture

First I wrote my draft here is the feedback that my buddy gave me:

After I read my feedback I edited my work and this is my final version of my story:

There was a depressed dog laying on the cold hard ground waiting for his owner to get home. As Frank was waiting he decided to be a little bit of a troublemaker and make a huge mess in the spotless living room and as he was bolting around the house he heard the door open. “FRANK WHAT IS THIS MESS? ” yelled James. Frank looked really guilty and looked back at the cold floor. You’re a naughty trouble making dog. Said James. For the past few days Frank still felt guilty for making that mess. So he made it up to his owner but he was too busy to go anywhere because of his hardworking job. 

“Woof” As Frank was barking at James, James shouted back at Frank and told him to shush. Frank didn’t listen and kept on braking at the squeaking door. Frank went to his bed and wanted to play with his ball but he did not find his favourite ball. He went looking around the whole house for it and did not find it at all. So he decided to go ask James. But James pushed him away so he could eat his breakfast.

Frank then found his toy in the bathroom and started playing with it. But then Frank started playing with the toilet paper and made a MASSIVE mess all through the bathroom. James started walking towards  the bathroom and saw some toilet paper by the door and I bet you know what’s going to happen next. “FRANK WHY ARE YOU MAKING A MESS IN THE BATHROOM” screamed James. Frank ran off to his bed and left James cleaning up.Frank stayed in his room and did not come out until the next day. The next day Frank went to his owner and sat down with him and ate some food.

I hope you liked my story.